It's OVER!!

FINALLY!! Christmas is OVER!! I was well pleased with the whole holiday, aside from my kid being sick...again. She and I spent Christmas Eve night riding around looking at Christmas lights in the different neighborhoods. Then, Christmas morning, we got up to see what Santa had brought her. She got a little basketball goal (just her size), a Chat Diva Barbie, an ice cream maker and cute little ice cream bowls. She also got a Webkinz, a Lite Brite, a set of bongos and a bunch of cute things. Anyway, after that was over, we all loaded up, went and picked Greg's son up from his mom's and we all went down to my mother-in-law's house and opened our family gifts there. Alyssa got a set of golf clubs, a FurReal gorilla, a Hannah Montana doll, a princess watch from her brother and a Nintendo DS Lite with a game. I was really excited because I got a nail care set from that kiosk in the mall (LOVE that stuff), the camera I wanted, and a beautiful butterfly necklace. I think the necklace is my favorite, simply because my little girl picked it out all by herself! Greg took her to the store and basically turned her loose. He said she walked around, looking, and all of a sudden she stopped, put her hands over her mouth and whispered, "Daddy...it's PERFECT!!" He said he showed her heart shaped necklaces and such but she would not be moved. She said the butterfly was "perfect for Mommy because she likes butterflies and so do I". So, that's the gift I will most cherish.

When we left my mother-in-law's, Alyssa and I went to Mississippi to spend the remainder of Christmas Day with my family. We spent the night at my grandparents' house and came back yesterday, just in time for me to take Alyssa to the doctor to get medicine for what appears to be a respiratory infection. Yay! Her cough sounds so bad...I just wish there were more I could do for her. I hate it when my baby isn't feeling good. She doesn't feel bad...she isn't acting "off" or anything...she just has a horrible cough. Poor baby.

Poor Neglected Blog

Since the demise of my former computer cord (at the hands...or should I say teeth...of the puppy), I have missed a lot of my online time. I haven't been able to maintain my blog to the extent that I usually try to. The good news is, my new cord came in yesterday, so I'm back up and running! Speaking of running...have I mentioned that I am going nuts with all this Christmas stuff? The only thing I've managed to get is a few gifts for Alyssa and one for Greg. Oh, and the stuff for Alyssa's classmates and teachers. Of course, I'm the only one who has really been focused on Alyssa's Christmas. That's nothing unusual. Lucky for her, she's my only focus, to speak of, so she'll always know that I'm thinking of her best interest. I don't guess I'd have that any other way, as far as I'm concerned. I'm just ready for Christmas to be over. It's getting to the annoying part.

I Hate My Dog

Getting my daughter a puppy for her birthday has proven to be the BIGGEST mistake I've made in a LONG time! The thing uses my house as her personal potty and now she's managed to chew my laptop cord beyond repair. I really don't know how she didn't get electrocuted, but my adapter is history. I've got to order a new one and, in the meantime, I can't get on my computer. I'm having to use my husband's laptop in his office, which makes me feel very isolated, as I'm used to doing all my computer work in the comfort of my living room, while stretched across the loveseat. Now, I'm having to actually SIT...at a DESK...in a CHAIR...WHAT?!?!?!?! I hope I can get my adapter soon, so I can go back to "business as usual".

My Diet

I'm becoming more and more proud of myself. In a matter of a few short weeks, I have added applesauce, baked turkey, and mixed nuts to my diet. This probably doesn't seem like much to the average person, but I'm proud of myself! I've decided to add at least one new thing every week, until I can eat enough to at least FEEL normal and possibly get more nutrients into my system. I'm starting to notice things going wrong with my body. For instance, my short term memory is suffering and my fingernails are starting to get rigid. I just want to get myself healthy again, even if I never enter another restaurant. I want to at least be able to feed myself healthy foods at home, you know?

For Her Own Good

She's not going to like it, and I'm a little late, but Alyssa is going to get a flu shot. I wanted to give it to her a month ago, but she kept on getting sick and they wouldn't give it to her while she was sick and running a fever. I've FINALLY gotten her well, so we're going to go. I need to get one as well, but I'm not as worried about ME as I am HER. I don't tend to put my fingers in my mouth and I try to avoid people (sick AND well) at all costs! I don't WANT to let them stick a needle in my baby girl. I was always the one blubbering and crying when she had to get her shots as a baby, but I know it's for her own good. The flu is a nasty thing and I want to keep my little girl as well as possible this winter!

Back To School

Today was Alyssa's first day back after her Thanksgiving holiday. It was her very first REAL holiday since she started to school. I just hate the whole thing sucked out loud. I had SO many things I wanted to do, none of which I managed to actually do, with the exception of going to Mississippi. Oh well. There's always Christmas, I suppose.

I always freak out when she goes to school. I guess it's because she's only been in school for right at three months and has been sick three times already. I just worry about all the contact she has with other kids when I'm not around to remind her not to put her fingers in her mouth after playing with a toy that a kid gave her after wiping snot off his or her nose. Nasty, I realize, but kids are nasty little creatures!! I've tried to instill in my child the importance of hand washing and keeping her hands away from her mouth, but she is still only five years old and doesn't remember EVERYTHING I've told her! All I can do is hope and pray, really.

My Turn Yet?

I'd like to get a little time too....a little time when I get to shuck my parental responsibilities and throw my kid off on someone else. I need a break just as much, if not more, than anyone else I know...and, yet, I'm the ONLY one who doesn't get that. I'll never, as long as I live, understand why God would give me a child KNOWING that I'm not going to have parents or in-laws to help me and offer me a break from time to time. I'm basically alone here. It's great, and I say that sarcastically. I will NEVER find this element of my life to be fair. I do the best I can. I'm devoted and faithful. I'm creative and selfless, in most cases. I always put my daughter ahead of myself and I've sacrificed SO much just so she can have things she wants or needs. So, when is it going to be MY turn to reap a benefit?

The Song In My Head

Ever since I rewatched yesterday's episode of General Hospital I've had this song stuck in my head. It was a real tearjearking moment, with Nikolas hysterical over Emily's dead body, pointing a gun at his own chest in a real "Romeo and Juliet" type moment, and Jason risking his own life for the love of Elizabeth, etc. Anyway, the song was called "Underneath the Night" and it's by a girl named Rie Sinclair. It's a beautiful song and I can't wait for it to be added to iTunes so I can buy it and put it on my iPod! I was in tears during that part of the show. I'm not sure if it was the song or the fact that they were displaying a type of love on that show that is unlike anything I've ever experienced myself and I'm pretty sure doesn't even exist in real life. Whatever it was, it struck an emotional cord with me.

Sick Baby

I had to take Alyssa to the doctor yesterday, after a coughing fit unlike anything I've ever seen in my child. They told me she has bronchiolitis. That's something I'm not familiar with, but they gave her an antibiotic, which is kinda silly, since bronchiolitis is viral and won't be cured with an antibiotic...but whatever! They also gave me some cough medicine which is about as powerful as a sugar pill and some Albuterol. I don't know what does what but I just want my baby well. It's miserable to hear her coughing and know that I can't do anything to help her.

On top of that, my mother in law is in the hospital again in Shreveport, so I've been doing the majority of Alyssa's illness by myself, because Greg has been in Shreveport with his mom and brother. I just want everyone to be okay so life can go on like normal again!!

Update Time

Well, she did it. She missed the party. I felt bad for her, because she REALLY wanted to go and was so disappointed that her fever lingered so she couldn't go. I just hope the mom doesn't think I wasn't telling the truth. I'm always so paranoid when it comes to things like that. I don't want anyone to think I'm avoiding their kid's party for whatever reason. I really wanted her to go to this one because this girl came to hers and paybacks are important to me. I did get a gift for her, though, which we will be delivering to school next week.

Aside from that, she seems to be feeling a bit better. Her temp was down to 99.0 last time I took it. The highest it got to was 101.1. Of course, as usual, I've been going it alone, which sucks. I need a day off!

Why Fridays???

My daughter is about 8 weeks into her first year of preschool. She only goes 3 days a week for 3 hours a day, so that's a total of 9 hours a week, and YET, we're going on our third illness. And, they ALWAYS start on Friday. And the last two have been the Friday before someone's birthday party on Saturday. She's been invited to three parties and is about to miss her second one out of the three. I'm seriously considering homeschooling next year because I can't take this stress! Luckily, this one doesn't seem too bad (knock on processed particleboard), so there's still a chance she might get to attend the party after all, and, at the very least, she might not miss another day of school. I just hate when she's under the weather.

Ten On Tuesday

Today's "Ten on Tuesday" theme is "10 Words to Describe Me". This should be fun!

1. Moody--seriously, I can go from 0 to bitch in NO time!

2. Impatient--when I want something, I want it NOW!!

3. Devoted--I may not be the most patient mom in the world, but I'm sure as heck dedicated to it!

4. Creative--I'm always looking for ways to express myself artistically.

5. Loud--I WILL be heard, no matter what!

6. Sentimental--I cry every year on my baby's birthday (and sometimes my own--only for a different reason!)

7. Childish--don't we ALL have our moments?????

8. Mental--I haven't eaten a meal in almost 4 years, for crying out loud....you don't get more crazy than that without being committed!

9. Overwhelmed--I want so much more out of my life than I know how to get.

10. Multi-faceted--this is the BEST word to describe me!

Naptime!

I've only been up a little over an hour, but I think I could take a nap! My sister and her boyfriend came in last night and spent the night here on their way to Arlington to pick up his "newsed" car and we stayed up talking until midnight. Then, I got up at 7:30, although I had been awake for a while. And now, at 8:47, I'm tired again. Luckily, I don't have all that much on my agenda for the day, so maybe I can get a nap later. I'm hoping that Tara and Kevin will decide to stay here again tonight, because I get very little time to really spend with my sister. Maybe they'll come back.

Game Day

I'll be the first one to say "who cares", generally, but this particular matchup should be fun to watch. LSU is playing Alabama today. The "fun" part is, Alabama's coach, Nick Saban, used to coach LSU and let them to the National Championship, which they won, in 2003. He decided to take a job coaching the Miami Dolphins and a lot of LSU fans got pretty fired up about that. So, now he's coaching Alabama and all the LSU fans are hoping for a HUGE win! I'm not sure if they'll get HUGE, but I know they have a good chance to win, because LSU is a great team. Don't get me wrong, I don't know much about football, nor do I care, but even I can read scores and records! GEAUX TIGERS!!!

Ready to Go!

Halloween is tomorrow and I'm ready! We went yesterday and finished up Alyssa's "Cinderella" costume and today, I went to her school and helped the director with the candy and goodies for tomorrow's "Treats on the Street". I got to help sort out and then deliver the treats to the local businesses they'll be going to. It was a lot of fun to do, and I know that it's for a good cause, because the kids will LOVE it!

So, after that, we'll go to dance class. Then, we'll do the Halloween thing tomorrow night. I don't know if we'll go trick-or-treating or if we'll hit a fall festival or something. I can't make up my mind, but either way, we'll do something fun for Alyssa!

Neglected

I've neglected my blog for the last couple of days. I'm still tired from tending to a sick kid (who seems to be on the mend, finally), getting her ready for school, getting myself ready every morning, feeding her, feeding the dog, taking the dog out, taking her to school, etc. ALL by myself! I've decided I might try to father the next one, because apparently, when you're the father, your sole responsibility is paying the bills, and you even get to complain about how you get no help with that! Sounds like the life to me!

So, I'm going to have to work on keeping my blog updated better. I've already gotten a lot of my "chores" out of the way...now all I have to do is straighten up my house, go pick up my kid, take her to the costume store, go to the grocery store, MAYBE the bank, carve a pumpkin, do some laundry, give my child a bath, wash her hair, feed her, and put her in bed. And, those are just the things I have PLANNED....every mother knows that there's ALWAYS something that just "comes up". *sigh* I wish I were still in the bed, too!

My Husband

I copied this from Loretta because I LUVS her! :) It's all about my husband!

Lots of questions about you and your hubby.

What is his name?
Gregory Shane Williamson

How long have you been together?
almost 7 years (next month)


How long did you date?
about a year and a half

How old is he?
36 (I like 'em OLD!!)

Who eats more?
Definitely him!

Who said I love you first?
I honestly don't remember!

Who is taller?
He is, but not by much

Who sings better?
Definitely me!

Who is smarter?
Hard to say....we both have our areas of expertise

Whose temper is worse?
Again, it depends....it's easier to set me off, but he tends to be louder and scarier ;)

Who does the laundry?
We both do...I do mine and our daughter's and he does his....we kinda take turns doing towels


Who does the dishes?
whoever decides to first

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
usually him, when we sleep together (he snores!)


Who pays the bills?
He does....I help when necessary and possible, but he does it for the most part

Who mows the lawn?
Bayou Boys...but he pays them!

Who cooks dinner?
Whoever takes a notion

Who drives when you are together?
It just depends....sometimes I do, sometimes he does

Who is more stubborn?
we both are....we're tauruses and butt heads on a regular basis!

Who is the first to admit when they are wrong?
Hmmmm....neither of us likes to do that, but I'd have to say I probably do it more than him (but that doesn't happen often, either, because I'm seldom wrong!) LOL!


Whose parents do you see the most?
My parents are dead, so we definitely see his mom more

Who kissed who first?
we were both "there", but he's the one who asked if he could kiss me (yes, he ASKED! Sweet, huh?)

Who asked who out?
I don't remember

Who proposed?
Alyssa....or should I say, the EPT with the pink line?


Who is more sensitive?
We both have our moments....I'm more emotionally sensitive, but he gets his feelings hurt easier, if that makes sense

Who has more friends?
He does...I keep moving too far away from mine!

Who has more siblings?
We have the same number of "real" siblings, but I think he has a couple of half-brothers out there somewhere

Who wears the pants in the family?
I'd like to say I did, so I wouldn't sound like a "yes sir" kind of a girl, but that wouldn't necessarily be true. At the same time, I don't feel like I'm "bossed around" all that much, so maybe we both do.

The Day's Events

Today was Alyssa's first time to go to school in almost a week. Technically, she didn't even go TO school. We met her class up at the pumpkin patch. It was fun for the kids. They decorated tiny pumpkins (gourds, actually) and played and learned about pumpkins and heard a story. Then they went outside and played for a bit, running around among the pumpkins. After that, we went out to the park for a classmate's birthday party. It was a LOT of outside time and it was COLD outside, so I'm praying that I didn't make a wrong decision in letting her go. She was looking so forward to it that I hated to make her miss it, but I just hope her cough doesn't get worse as a result. So far, so good, but time will tell!

Worry Wart

I'll admit it. I'm almost psychotic when it comes to my daughter. I'm sure she thinks I'm a nut. Any time she acts a little "off", I'm constantly asking her, "how do you feel?", "Does your tummy hurt?", "Does your throat hurt?", etc. I just can't help it. I'm obsessed with my child's health and it worries ME. Earlier she was complaining with a sore throat and then she went to sleep, which is odd for her. Now, she's awake and she's playing and she doesn't feel warm and she says her throat isn't hurting, but I don't know. I just hate not knowing what's going on in my child's mind and/or her body. This "mother" thing is hard!!

I'm A Bad Mom

I'm a terrible mommy. I make my child take her school clothes off when she gets home. I make her wash her hands before she eats and after she uses the potty and after she plays with the dog. I make her go to bed at 8:00 and I make her eat vegetables. I make her say "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me" and "I'm sorry". I make her take small bites of her food and chew them up well before she swallows. I make her take a bath and wash her hair on a regular basis. When she's sick, I make her take medicine and rest. I make her come inside when it's dark and I make her wear bug spray when she's outside. I'm a mean, bad, horrible mommy and one day she'll thank me for it, especially when SHE becomes a "mean, bad, horrible" mommy herself!

I Wish I Had Known

Someone should have informed me that a puppy was going to be a pain in my backside! She whines, she poops EVERYWHERE (except outside, where she's SUPPOSED to go), she smells, she eats things she shouldn't eat....she is getting on my NERVES!!!! In my "patient" moments, I can handle it, but I'm, by nature, not a patient person and this dog works my nerves! It wouldn't be so bad if I weren't the ONLY person who could fool with her. It's not that my husband hasn't tried, but she refuses to potty outside for him. I'm not sure why that is, but she won't do it. She'll only potty for me. Go figure! So, I'm the one who has to go outside in the freezing cold or awful heat (whichever we're having that day) and wait for the dog to pee...or whatever. UGH!! I didn't want to regret the decision to get Alyssa a dog for her birthday, but I'm really starting to!

Weekend To-Do

I have several things to do this weekend. I don't feel all that great, so I don't know if I'll get them all accomplished or not, but I'm going to try.

1. LAUNDRY--I've already started on this, but I have SO much more to do!

2. work on stitching--been doing this, but I have to do more

3. take a picture of Piper--Alyssa needs one for school on Monday

4. clean my bedroom--it's a huge mess!!

5. clean Alyssa's bedroom--had this done, but try to convince a 5 year old to leave it clean!


That's all I can THINK of, at the moment, but I'm sure stuff will come up.

A Step

Most of you are going to laugh and think "what the heck?" when I say this, but I've taken, what I see as, a major step in my eating disorder recovery. It was a simple step, but a major step. I chewed a piece of gum for the first time in almost 3 years! Seems simple, but I haven't had any, mostly for fear that the peppermint would aggravate my acid reflux. But, I survived, as I was pretty sure I would. It's just GUM, after all. It's not like you technically "eat" it!

I've got to do something to help myself. I will die if I continue this way. I'm losing weight again and, for most that would be a great thing. But, for me, it's scary because I KNOW that I'm not getting the nutrition or sustenance that I need for survival. If I drop too much weight, I'm going to look as bad as I did 3 years ago, which was rather frightening!

Aftermath

Okay, I know this is like beating a dead horse, but I can't express how glad I am that this birthday and birthday party are OVER!!!! I love my daughter more than anything in my life, but this past few weeks have been incredibly tiring for me. I, singlehandedly, made 30 invitations, 20 goody bags, 24 cupcakes, 3 2-layer cakes, wrapped several gifts and bought a puppy! I'm TIRED!!!! But, the funny thing is, I would do it all over again. I didn't hate it. I loved seeing the look on my child's face and having her be the center of attention. As weird as it sounds, I almost wish that kids had 2 birthdays a year...not necessarily to AGE, because I don't want THAT to go any faster, but I enjoyed celebrating her existence, and I would love to get to do that more than once a year.

Yucky

I haven't been feeling all that great today. I'm having one of those days where, according to the numbers, I'm not running a fever, but I FEEL like I could be, know what I mean? I've taken my temp and it's actually below normal, so there's no chance that I'm actually sick, which is great, because who wants to be sick. But, I still feel lousy. I'm sure this has something to do with the fact that I'm exhausted. I ran myself ragged getting ready for Alyssa's party and now I have a puppy to contend with. I just haven't gotten the sleep I need to be getting. And, Alyssa has had 4 days of school this week, instead of her usual three, so I'm having to get up early an extra day. Of course, I have to get up early anyway, because I have to take the puppy out, but whatever. And, naturally, my "visitor" has been here this week, and that isn't helping the situation. But, hopefully I'll feel better next week.

It's Going

We've had our puppy for 4 days and house training is going...and that's about all I can say. She'll "tinkle" outside some, but has yet to do "the other" out there. She's such a sweet puppy and I know I'll really enjoy her company once she becomes more like company and less like another job! I'm tired of cleaning up poop and other excrements off my floor!

Greg and I gave her a bath tonight and she looks and smells SO much better. I just need to get another bow for her hair because the rubber band broke on hers. She looks so pretty with her bow! I have to take a picture of her tomorrow and get it developed for Alyssa's pet day at school on Monday. I'm so glad she has a pet to take.

Today

I've had a busy day today already and it's only 10:00! I had to get up at 7:00, take the dog outside and then mop the laundry room floor where she'd already pottied and clean out her crate, etc. I took Alyssa to school, then went to Wal-Mart to grab some dog shampoo, Febreeze, a pumpkin for Alyssa's school and things like that. While I was there, I also grabbed some Thank You notes for her to give to all the kids who came to her party this weekend. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to mail them out or just put them in the kids' mailboxes at school. I don't guess it matters, just as long as they get them. Now, I'm going to give Piper a bath and start writing the notes. I'm going to write them and have Alyssa sign her own name. I thought that would be adorable and thoughtful!

Just In Time

I took Alyssa to school today and she was excitedly telling her teacher about her new puppy and her teacher told me that she got that "just in time". They're about to have a special pet week at school, where all the kids are going to bring pictures of their pets and tell about them. She said they were talking about it last week and Alyssa got very sad because she was the only kid in her class who didn't have a pet! And, now she does and I'm happy for her! I had no idea that she was the only one and that they were doing "pet week". Now I'M glad she has one, too! Granted, I'm tired from having to clean up after her and take her outside when she's not even trying to potty outside, but for my daughter's sake, I'm glad she's here. And, now, I must go give said dog a BATH because she REEKS!!

Why Do I Bother?

I've been all excited for several weeks now, thinking that SOMEONE was going to come to represent my family at Alyssa's birthday party. No one from my family EVER comes. So this year, my sister was speaking positively and so were my grandparents. Then, my sister declined, due to the air conditioner in her car being out and it being a 4 hour drive from there to here (can't blame her for that one). It was okay anyway, because my grandparents were still coming. Then, today, I talked to my grandpa and he said that they weren't going to be able to come either. So, once again, there will be NO ONE from my family there. UGH!! It wouldn't be so bad if I weren't counting on someone coming. I guess that's what happens when I look too forward to something. The show must go on, I suppose. It's times like these when I REALLY wish I had parents. I don't understand why God took my daughter's grandparents LONG before her birth, and then makes it so that none of the rest of them can come to her parties, either. I don't get it! Oh well.

Thursday's To-Do List

Everything I'm doing nowadays is in preparation for Alyssa's party this weekend. I'm trying to do things bit by bit because if I don't, I'll go insane!! So, here's what I have to do tomorrow:

1. Bake 3 2-layer cakes

2. Make a fondant rainbow (or three)

3. clean my living room, kitchen, and bathroom

4. wrap Alyssa's gifts from grandparents

I hope I can get that done.

Happy Birthday, Alyssa

Today was my baby's 5th birthday. We woke her up and had a couple of gifts, some flowers, and a donut with a candle in it. Her gifts were a Barbie in The Island Princess DVD and a Cabbage Patch Kid. Granted, she already HAS two Cabbage Patch Kids, but this one was one I searched for for about 2 years. It has her birthday!

Then we had the Celebration of Life at her school. That was sweet. The teacher lit a candle in the middle of the carpet, symbolizing the sun. I had written a story about Alyssa's life and brought some pictures, as I was instructed. So, while the teacher read the story, Alyssa would pass around her pictures and then the teacher would give her a globe each time she finished a year in the story and Alyssa would walk around the candle, "circling the sun". It was really adorable. And, we had cupcakes after that.

Now, I'm just preparing for the party. We're having it at Excalibur on Saturday and, so far, I've had 14 kids confirm that they could come and there are still 4 or 5 I haven't heard from. I'm thinking this will be a successful party and I'm pumped up about it.

Titanic

I'm amazed at how many movies have been made about this tragedy. I'm currently "watching" one from 1996 that has Peter Gallagher, Tim Curry, and several others in it. It's like watching the James Cameron one with different actors. There are only so many different ways to tell this story! Granted, I'm intrigued by the whole ordeal and I've done a lot of research on it, but geez! Talk about beating a dead horse! I don't want to bust anyone's bubble if they haven't seen ALL the movies, but....the ship sinks....every time. Sorry.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about Rebecca Here is my first Thursday Thirteen in a LONG time...not sure how I kept NOT doing it, but I did. Anyway, my daughter's 5th birthday is next Wednesday and her party is next Saturday. So, here is my list of 13 Things I Have To Get Done By Party Time: 1. Finish buying all the cake mixes and icing mixes I'm going to need to make a 3 tiered cake AND cupcakes for her class on Wednesday. 2. Get gift cards and certificates to PetCo and Choices (a store down the road that has adorable dog clothes and accessories). 3. Go to Choices and get one of those cute little doggy birthday hats for the puppy. 4. Get a kennel for the puppy so Excalibur will let her into the party. 5. Finish up her gift from my grandparents (she's getting clothes, which they have given me the money to purchase). 6. Write her story and get pictures together for her "Celebration of Life" at her school. 7. Bake cupcakes (that'll happen on Tuesday) 8. Bake cake (that'll be on Thursday) 9. Decorate cake (which will happen on Friday) 10. Make goody bags 11. Buy streamers to decorate party room 12. Charge camera batteries 13. And, most importantly, pick up the puppy!! If I forget THAT, my baby will have no gift from Mommy and Daddy! So, there you are...it's going to be a busy week for me! Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

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I LOVE This Movie!!

I'm sitting here, on a Friday night, alone, watching Forrest Gump for about the MILLIONTH time! I OWN this movie on DVD, for crying out loud! I just can't get enough. Everyone needs a Forrest Gump in their life. Where's MY Forrest? You know, that person who will love you, no matter how badly you mess up your life? Jenny totally didn't deserve Forrest! But, the fact that he loved her unconditionally, for as long as she lived, no matter how high she was or what mess she made of herself, is absolutely precious. It was like he was too naive to see what she was. But, that's beside the point. The point is, I LOVE this movie! A sequel to that movie would have made a killing!

Just Thinking

I'm watching this Lifetime movie (yeah, I know....I was asking for it) and it got me to thinking. The movie is called Custody and it's about this little girl whose mother died when she was younger and, since then, she has been raised by her dad. They're incredibly close and she's a happy, well-adjusted teenager. In walks this other man. Turns out, he was married to her mother a long time ago (which the girl didn't know), and he is her father. He left her mom when she got pregnant. Anyway, so he's rich and wants to "get to know her". So, she starts spending time with him and begins to like him....that is, until he petitions, and wins, full custody and moves her to California. It's then that she realizes that he's too busy for her and she wants to go home to the man who has been her "daddy" for as long as she can remember. I can't tell you how it ends, yet, because it's not over.

Anyway, what I thought about is this. I wonder if it's selfish to ALMOST wish that I had another man who would step up and be my biological father. Not that I didn't have an AWESOME father, because I did. It would just be really great, at this point, to have another chance to have a dad. But, because my mother was only married once, to my dad, and I am his biological child, then I'll NEVER get any more parents. But, it would still be interesting to get to start over.

Okay, so the movie's over and the biological father just decided that the best thing for the girl was to let the other man have her, since he's been her dad all along. Sweet ending. Happy ending. That's the stuff that fiction is made of.

Monday Yuck!

Today was supposed to be Alyssa's first full day of school. Last week was just orientation, so it only lasted an hour and a half. So, today, she was supposed to go from 8:30 until 11:30...but she's home sick. Go figure. She spent a grand total of 6 hours around other kids last week and picked up a cold. So much for breastfeeding for 20 months and cooking vegetables and administering Princess vitamins! Apparently they don't help much! Luckily, it doesn't seem to be a BAD cold...just enough to where I thought it better to let her miss one day of school. She only goes 3 days a week, so her next day isn't until Wednesday anyway, so she'll have today and tomorrow to rest and recover and she should be good by Wednesday.

Blah

I feel a little rough today. Alyssa is coming down with a cold (hopefully a mild one) and I just don't feel good. I don't have any symptoms, really, other than just tiredness and a less-than-great feeling in my stomach, but that stomach thing is a regular occurance for me and not likely anything major. I'll be fine. I just worry about Alyssa. Her school handbook said that a child who hasn't been in daycare and such can be expected to have between 15-20 colds during their first year of school. That's more than a cold a month! She's going to STAY sick! I'll never see my daughter without the sniffles again! I'm not liking this school thing AT ALL!! I'm seriously considering home schooling her.

My Saturday

This day started out not-so-great. I had to get up at 5:00am for a reason that I can't talk about right now because it will just "re-tick" me off! Suffice it to say that SOME of us mothers take responsibility for our own kids and some don't!

After that, and a nap, Alyssa and I went over to Petco to browse. She likes to look at the different animals and I was trying to nonchalantly check out the puppy things. My plan is to give her a gift card on her birthday and then we can go with her to take the puppy to Petco so she can pick out the essentials for her and "buy them herself". I thought it would be more fun that way, since pets are allowed to go into the store! I'm really beginning to look forward to this puppy. She's adorable!! I just hope I don't lose my religion trying to housebreak her!

Almost Time

My best friend leaves tomorrow for her long-awaited trip to Europe. I just hope she's able to see and do all the things she wants. She's been researching the sights and attractions for MONTHS now and probably has a long list of things to do. For instance, she told me that she wants to get a picture of a red phone booth in London and maybe check out a few london bars. She should definitely check on trustedplaces.com to see where she should and shouldn't go, being as she'll be a foreigner and isn't remotely familiar with the countries she'll be visiting. Besides London, she'll be going to Belgium, France, and possibly Italy. She'll be going all over! She definitely needs some hints on places to see and things to avoid!

Mixed Emotions

I am such a sap! I'm sitting here, at 8:31 on Monday morning, Labor Day, and I'm bawling like a newborn! Why, you might ask? Because, attached to my left arm is a beautiful little 4 year old girl, who will be starting preschool tomorrow. Now, I realize that for some of you, this seems silly, because it's only PREschool and she's just going for 3 hours a day, 3 days a week! But, to me, it's HUGE! That means this is the very last day that my daughter won't be classified as a "student". From tomorrow on, she'll be in school August-May, not including major holidays and weekends. She'll have homework during those months that I'll help her with and then I'll watch as she deserts me to go play with her little school friends without even saying "thank you". All this will take place until she's at least 18 (hopefully older, because I want her to go to college). So, today is the last day of my daughter's "babyhood" and I'm not sure I can stand it!

I'm a Bloody Target

I'm a target for all the bad drivers in Monroe! A few months ago, I was driving down the interstate, minding my business, and some "girl" in a white SUV decided that, rather than waiting for me to pass by, she would just merge in on top of me! And, if that wasn't bad enough, she just drove off! I had to call the cops and they tracked her down. Crazy, right? So, Alyssa and I were in a shopping center a week or so ago, shopping for a bird feeder for her school, and while we were there, I decided to stop by Spoiled Rotten, which is a store with grossly overpriced, but adorable, clothes for kids. As I was pulling out of the parking lot, Alyssa jumped up and said she had forgotten her purse in Spoiled Rotten. Granted, there was nothing IN the purse, but I remember a time when I left a Clifford the Dog sticker under a rack at Fred's and my mother wouldn't go back and let me get it (understandably so). I remember being crushed and devastated at the loss of my sticker and I vowed that, if there were any way possible, I would always return to try to find anything my child left in a store. So far, in my daughter's 5 years, I have had to go back to McRae's for a toy phone, SteinMart for a purse (different purse) and Wal-Mart for....something....I can't even remember what it was. Anyway, long story short, I pull out onto the road and then loop back into the parking lot to go back to Spoiled Rotten to get the purse and as soon as I got in, someone hit me! Luckily, he was very nice about it, admitted his fault and gave me his insurance info. It didn't do any real damage, though, and Greg said we wouldn't even bother filing it or fixing it. It just scratched the paint a bit...no biggie! But, I am such a target!!!

Three Little Kittens

I've practiced being the "crazy old cat lady" today. We have a cat and her kittens living in our backyard and I'm in love! I invited them in briefly today to play with my daughter and stepson. There are two girls and a boy. The boy and one of the girls are almost identical. The only difference, really, is the color of their eyes. He has green eyes and she has blue eyes. The other girl is black and white striped. Anyway, the point is, I named the black and white one Delilah. The other girl is Skylah, because her eyes are blue, like the sky, and her brother is Fugly, because he's just really not as pretty as the other two. I'd love to keep Delilah, but on the other hand, I'm badly wanting a puppy and I know that my husband wouldn't go for having TWO animals!

My Monday To-Do

I've already missed the number one thing on my list. I was planning to go to Alyssa's school and pay her tuition and fees, but I didn't wake up until 10 minutes before I was supposed to be there. I talked to her teacher yesterday, and I got the impression that she'd rather me wait until Wednesday anyway, so I figure that's what I'll do. So, with that in mind, here's my "to-do" list for today. I always forget to post later and tell how much of it I got done, but I'll try my best to remember tonight.

1. Work more on Alyssa's flower pot and bird feeder
2. Go to post office and mail some things
3. MORE LAUNDRY--it never ends!!!!
4. Go to Hobby Lobby and buy some dark yellow paint
5. Work more on Christmas stocking

That's all I can think of for today.

Things I Need To Do

Here is my list of things I need to accomplish today. I don't know that I'll get them all done, cause I feel like a mess, but I intend to try!

1. LAUNDRY....lots and lots of laundry!!
2. Change my sheets (technically goes under "laundry", but whatever.
3. Clean my room...it's a MESS!!
4. Go to the post office and mail stuff that I've had forever.
5. Start painting Alyssa's flower pot.
6. Glue letters on Ethan's plaque.
7. Give Alyssa a bath....that shouldn't have to be on the list, but I can't ever remember until bedtime.

So, there you have it. I'll post later tonight to let you know how I did! :)

Hysterical Mommy Story

Okay...just a little setup here. For those who don't know (and I can't imagine who wouldn't since her picture is all over my profile), I have a 4 year old daughter, Alyssa. Well, I have a habit of giving her all the junk mail we recieve, all the stuff addressed to "resident", etc. because she LOVES to get "mail". So, I got out of the shower a few minutes ago and found her sitting on the loveseat, with huge tears running down her cheeks. It appeared she had been crying for awhile. So, I said, "What's wrong, baby?" and she grabbed her piece of "resident" mail I had given her and said, "I got a letter from the cops". So, I looked, and, sure enough, it was an ad for the Crime Stoppers of Ouachita! It had a picture of handcuffs and such as that. She was scared silly that they were coming to put her in jail because she was bad to her Mommy and Daddy! Poor thing!! I tried really hard not to laugh as I explained to her what the "letter" was really about. Luckily, I think she feels better now!

LONG Weekend

I had a long, but great weekend. We left Friday afternoon and spent the night in Madison with my husband's friend. Then we left Saturday morning to go to a cookout reunion for my first high school that I attended from 7th-11th grade. It lasted from 11:00 until 1:00 and I got to see a ton of great people. Then, I was supposed to go to my grandparents' house in Carthage, drop Alyssa off and go to Philadelphia to the reunion for the high school that I went to my senior year and graduated from. But, at the last minute, I decided that I wanted to go to the one for the same high school that had the cookout, because I didn't figure there would be too many people at the other one that I cared to see. There was only one person that I liked going, as far as I knew at the time (turns out there were a few more that showed up, but whatever). So, we went to Carthage and my daughter spent the night with my grandparents and we went back to Meridian to the country club. We had a good time. I loved reuniting with my old friends and I think Greg even enjoyed himself, once he realized they had beer there! It was great to see everyone that I hadn't seen in 10 or 11 years. I wish I could have been at both, but there was only one of me! :)

Reunion Preparations

I'm almost ready. My high school reunions (yes, that's plural) are this weekend and I'm just about ready to go. I went today and had my nails done and my eyebrows waxed. My beautician friend, Kelly, is coming over tonight to retouch my highlights for me. A lot of people would wonder why I'm bothering, and I can tell you exactly why. In high school, I was fat and I was incredibly unattractive. Seriously. The kids would "moo" at me when I was standing at my locker! It was bad. NOW, at the age of 28, I wear a size 10 (and on a girl who's 5'8", that's not too shabby) and I feel like I look a LOT better than I did then. So, I'm excited about showing it! If I see ONE jaw drop, it will be well worth it!

Plans for Today

I honestly have none. We checked the weather and the heat index for today is 110 degrees. So, I'm planning on staying inside as much as possible! I have no desire to be out in the heat. I hesitate to say that I'll be glad when it gets to be winter, because I don't like to be cold, either, but something in between is good! I like it when I can wear jeans and a short sleeved shirt. That's my most favorite kind of weather. I have a class reunion this weekend and the cookout part is outside. I seriously hope we don't fry! The forecast is saying it's only going to be 93 degrees on Sunday, which, to us, is going to feel like we're in the middle of a cold snap!

Rough Day

You know your day is going to be wonderful when your 4 year old "can't sleep" until 2:00am and then you wake up at 5:30 to the sound of gagging and throwing up. It's great! The good news is, the culprit was sinus drainage and not a virus or something icky like that. Now, if I can just get the drainage dried up for her soon, we'll be alright.

On top of that, I received a letter in the mail today from the University of Texas at Austin saying that I have a $25 parking citation. I've never, in my life, been to Austin and I don't drive a gray Honda! So, I've been on the phone trying to straighten that out and haven't really gotten much closer to getting it done. When it rains, it pours!!

I Don't Get It

I was reading an article on Yahoo about the punishments given to parents who accidentally leave their children to die in hot cars. I just don't understand. How can a sane parent get so distracted that they forget that their child is in the backseat of their car??? That makes no sense to me. I'm probably one of the most forgetful people in the world and, yet, when I get out of a car, I never space out so far that my daughter slips my mind. Even IF (and that's a big IF) I forgot to get her out of the car, would it not occur to me that my house was oddly quiet before she had time to die in the car??? I'm not sure I can show any sympathy to these parents. I'd better get my flame-retardant suit on, but I'm not sure that a parent who loves their kids can just "forget" to get them out of the car. I mean, I'm not "mother-of-the-year" material, but there are very few moments of my life when my daughter isn't the foremost thing on my brain and to think of "accidentally" forgetting about her and leaving her in a sweltering hot car for 7 hours or longer to die is just insane!

Plans for Today

I wish I could say that I had some. It's already 1:00 and I haven't even gotten dressed. Starting next week, we're going to alter our schedules. Alyssa and I are, anyway. There's not much I can do with hubby--he's a grown man. But, Alyssa and I are going to start going to bed earlier and getting up earlier. She's had Bible school this week in the evenings, so she hasn't gotten home until 8:15 or so and I hate to put her in bed at 8:30 because that only gives her 15 minutes to eat a little bit of supper and play with Daddy, so I've been letting her stay up until 9:30. But that has to stop. She's going to be starting school in roughly a month and we'll have to BE THERE at 8:30, which is LONG before we're used to even waking up! So, she's going to start going to bed between 8:00 and 8:30 and I'm going to have to get in bed before 2:00am, myself!

One Word Only

This time it was Retta who got me. The good news is, as I've said before, I love these things!! So, here we go...answers must be in ONE WORD!

1. Where is your cell phone? floor

2. Relationship? stressful

3. Your hair? up

4. Work? constantly

5. Your sister? bed?

6. Your favorite thing? daughter

7. Your dream last night? forgotten

8. Your favorite drink? kool-aid

9. Your dream car? SUV

10. The room you’re in? living

11. Your shoes? off

12. Your fears? barf

13. What do you want to be in 10 years? happy

14. Who did you hang out with this weekend? Alyssa

15. What are you not good at? patience

16. Muffin? pass

17. One of your wish list items? camera

18. Where you grew up? Mississippi

19. Last thing you did? type

20. What are you wearing? clothes

21. What aren’t you wearing? pants

22. Your pet? gone

23. Your computer? overused

24. Your life? overwhelming

25. Your mood? bored

26. Missing? parents

27. What are you thinking about right now? entertainment

28. Your car? filthy

29. Your kitchen? cluttered

30. Your summer? hot

31. Your favorite color? pink

32. Last time you laughed? earlier

33. Last time you cried? Wednesday

34. School? hoping

35. Love? Alyssa

Who to tag??? Um....I think I'll get Karen, Melissa, and Sindy. Have fun!!

Trip Home

I love going to Mississippi! I've been missing the heck out of it ever since we moved away in late 2003. Since then, I've been in Texas, gotten sick, lost my mind, moved to Louisiana, blah blah blah. I did, however, have an epiphany. I've been BEGGING Greg to move us back home and I just wonder if it's because I think I'll genuinely be happy there or because I'm hanging on to memories of a time in my life that I'll never be able to relive. I was SO happy in 2000-2003. I'm not sure I realized HOW happy, until it got to be 2007 and I realized that I'm sick and insane. Everything great happened to me between those years. I moved into my own apartment, got my first full time job, bought a brand new sports car, made great friends, went out clubbing, met Greg, got pregnant, got married, moved into a house, had the most beautiful baby girl EVER, and had my life together. I knew who I was.

So, here I am now...2007. I'm in Louisiana, which, in itself, isn't a TERRIBLE thing. But it's not "home", either. I have an "eating disorder" of some sort and haven't had a meal since 2004. I feel like I've lost control of my life. I no longer know who I am or what makes me happy. I haven't been genuinely "happy" in a long time and there's no one to blame for that. For awhile, I tried to blame it on my husband. But, it's not his fault. He's a great husband and father and I'd be lost without him. Then, I tried to blame it on my daughter, indirectly. But, as difficult as being a mom is and as much as I didn't expect and thought I didn't want it, I've come to realize that she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I didn't realize what I was made of until she screamed her way into my life! I've tried to blame it on Texas, but moving there was only part of the problem. It definitely contributed, but the issue is ultimately mine. I've been through so much in my 28 years, and I know that there are people who have been through more and I have nothing but respect for them. But, everyone has a different breaking point and I hit mine in 2004, when I moved away from the majority of my support system. No one's fault, but it's MY job to get myself out. So, those of you who have a belief in the Big Man Upstairs, please say a prayer for me!

What the Heck?!?!?!?!

I'm having a hard time wrapping my finger around the deaths of WWE wrestler, Chris Benoit, and his family. When I first heard the news from my husband on Monday night, I was stunned and saddened. Then, when I woke up Tuesday and read that it was an apparent murder-suicide and that Chris was responsible, I was flabbergasted! I remember watching him on Raw and other wrestling shows when Greg and I first started dating, but I'm not going to pretend to have known him in-depth, through interviews or anything else. But, it still shocks me that a parent would kill their child. I'm not "mother of the year" material by any means. I don't always play dolls when I should and my child sometimes goes to bed without a bath and every now and then I forget to make her brush her teeth. She even eats fast food when Mommy is too lazy to cook. But I would NEVER, EVER, EVER do anything to cause her physical harm, much less death! What goes through a parent's mind as they're smothering their child???? I feel for the little boy....I feel for his mother....but most of all, I feel for Chris Benoit, because you've GOT to be one messed up SOB to take the life of your own son and I'm enough of a God-fearing girl to believe that it's something HE'LL be paying for in his afterlife!

Ten on Tuesday

Today's Ten on Tuesday is "10 Favorite Bands of All Time". This one was super easy for me because I'm a music fanatic! In fact, the hardest part this week will be narrowing it down to ONLY 10! So, in totally RANDOM order, here they are:

1. Bon Jovi--Jon is SO hot for his age!

2. Motley Crue--I also have a "thing" for Vince Neil and Tommy Lee

3. The Monkees--my mother introduced me to them when I was a kid...they were her favorite growing up.

4. Guns N Roses--can you tell I'm a fan of the 80's "hair bands"?

5. Poison--is it my imagination, or is Brett Michaels STILL hot?

6. 3 Doors Down--Mississippi boys! I worked with the lead singer's brother in law...he was my boss, actually!

7. Daughtry--one of my favorite NEW bands

8. Lynyrd Skynyrd--not sure if I spelled that right, to be honest, but they are the quintessential southern rock band!

9. Red Hot Chili Peppers--love me some Flea!

10. Hinder--another one of my favorite new bands

There you have it! There are SO many more that didn't make the list!

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about REBECCA 13 Ways I Can Tell I Am A Mother: 1. I've learned all the words of all the Nick Jr. cartoon theme songs, not so much because I was trying to, but more because of constant repetition. 2. There is at least one toy in EVERY room of my house. 3. There is at least one picture of a beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed girl in EVERY room of my house. 4. My daughter hands me a grass weed out of the yard, proudly proclaiming that it's a beautiful flower, and I actually see it no differently. 5. I have twelve dozen of the beforementioned weeds in "vases" around my house. 6. I have sucked up at least a million rocks in my vacuum. 7. Someone can hand me $500 and the first thing I think of is "what does my daughter need/want?" 8. I would honestly rather spend time with my daughter than do anything else in the world. 9. I gave up my awesome red sports car and opted for a 4-door Camry. 10. I've made it my business to collect ALL the Disney movies on DVD. 11. Nothing makes my heart jump more than to hear her say "I love you, Mommy, and you're my best friend in the world." 12. Nothing saddens me more than to know that one day that will change. 13. There's not a night that goes by that I don't say a prayer, thanking God for my miracle and asking Him to help keep her healthy and safe and help me be the best mom I can be.

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All Grown Up

I took Alyssa to her first dance class today. My little angel is getting SO big! I really like her dance studio, though. They have a big lobby with TVs in two corners hooked to a camera in the studio so the parents can watch their children in class. So I got to witness my daughter's first experience with ballet, tumbling, and tap. She did SOOOO good!! Mommy is proud!

My Upcoming Week

Now starts the beginning of my busy summer! I have to be up at 7am every day this week to get Alyssa ready to go to Bible School. Then, Tuesday evening at 5pm, she'll have dance class, which we're really excited about. Then, on Friday, we'll have her final program at Bible School. And, somewhere in the middle, I have to get her bedroom set ordered, find my wedding rings she lost, do laundry, go grocery shopping, call the landlord about the water spot on the ceiling in Alyssa's room, etc. Believe it or not, though, I LOVE being busy! It beats being bored.

Holiday Weekend

I actually sorta forgot this WAS a holiday weekend, to be honest. Memorial Day isn't a holiday that I get into, really. By the time Memorial Day comes around, the kids around here are already out of school (unfortunately), and almost all the stores are open, so it just seems like another day to me. We did, however, have an "event" or two in our household this weekend. For starters, I got my karaoke machine I've been wanting FOREVER (did I mention that already?). Then, today, we went truck shopping for Greg. We wound up in Ruston and he found a 2006 Dodge Ram 1500 that he liked, so we are a two vehicle family once again! YAY!!

Now, if I can just get through the rest of this week, next week will be AWESOME!! Alyssa goes to Bible School from 8-12 everyday next week, so I'll have four, count 'em, FOUR glorious child-free hours every day next week!! Exciting!! I just hope nothing spoils it this year. Last year, I looked forward to it for weeks and I wound up getting sick that week with the most horrible cold I'd ever had! So, I couldn't even enjoy my child-free hours because I was too sick. I'm crossing my fingers that this year is better!

Bless Her Heart

I love my daughter with all my heart, but she is getting on my nerves SOOOO bad today!! Every time I turn around, she's right there, wanting to "help" with whatever I'm doing. Unfortunately, her "helping" translates into "standing in Mommy's way so she can't get past me to actually DO what it is that she's trying to do". And, she has NOT shut up! She just jibbers...constantly! I know it's just ME...I'm just having one of my short fuse days, poor thing. But, I will be so glad when it's her bedtime!!

Ten Sad Songs

Today's Ten on Tuesday is "Ten Songs That Make You Sad". So, here are mine:

1. Tears in Heaven--Eric Clapton. This is such a sad song on SO many levels. And, the fact that it was written about his own little boy that he lost so young makes it all the more depressing.

2. Turn the Page--Bob Segar. This ordinarily wouldn't be a sad song, but it was my dad's favorite song and a friend of his played the guitar and sang it at my daddy's funeral back in 1995. So, it reminds me of my dad.

3. Knockin' On Heaven's Door--Guns N Roses. I realize this is a cover of an Eric Clapton song, but I honestly prefer the GNR version. It's another one that was played in memory of my dad, so it's sad to me.

4. Butterfly Kisses--Bob Carlisle. I cry everytime I hear this one. I can't believe how quickly my baby girl is growing up!!!

5. Streets of Heaven--Sherrie Austin. This one came out as my grandma was diagnosed with cancer and I had a baby daughter (who actually WAS still a baby!). I just couldn't imagine losing my grandma (which I didn't, for the record) and it was even more sad to think of something like that happening to my little girl.

6. Alyssa Lies--Jason Michael Carroll. I think this song would be sad, regardless, but when you actually HAVE a daughter named Alyssa, it makes it even more difficult to listen to the line that says "Alyssa lies with Jesus because there's nothing anyone would do". Not that I have to worry about MY Alyssa being a fatality of child abuse, but it's sad to think that SOMEONE'S Alyssa might be!

7. Please Remember Me--Tim McGraw. I heard this song in 1998, shortly after a person I was very close to was taken to the hospital after a ruptured brain aneurysm and they didn't expect him to make it through the night. For the record, he DID make it through that night and will be celebrating his 30th birthday this Sunday.

8. Baby Mine--Dumbo Soundtrack. Okay, don't laugh! That part of the movie was always sad to me, but then, it became "our song" when I brought my daughter home from the hospital and would sing it to her when she was just mere days old. So, it's kinda sad and bittersweet to me now that she's four. When I hear it or sing it to her, I think about the little bitty bundle of human I was singing it to back in October, 2002.

9. Amazing Grace. Yes, the hymn. My mother sang this song a capella a few months before she passed away. The music minister then insisted that it be on the hymn list for her memorial service after her death. It was the first time I ever saw my daddy cry.

10. Untitled--Simple Plan. My best friend swears up and down that this is about a person who is dying after a car accident, but after listening to the words, I'm convinced that it's a drug overdose he's dying of. Either way, it's a sad song because we've ALL made mistakes that we'll probably regret as we're dying (if we don't already).

So, there you have it!! See ya next week! :)

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is a very bittersweet holiday for me. On the one hand, I have my beautiful daughter to celebrate with. There's nothing better than knowing that there's a person in the world who loves you in spite of your faults. It had been a LONG time since I experienced unconditional love and now I have it!

But, on the other hand, it's a sad reminder that my own mother has been missing from my life (in the flesh, anyway) for 17 Mother's Days. Most everyone who knows me, at all, knows that my mother passed away on January 5, 1990, at the age of 32. I was only 10 years old at the time, so, unfortunately, I wasn't left with many vivid memories of her. It's very hard to fathom that I've spent over half my life without her. It's unfair...I've said it before and I'll say it for the rest of my natural life....it's totally unfair!!

I try not to be bitter about the holiday, for the sake of my daughter. I had no reason to celebrate before her. Granted, I always sent (and still send, actually) a card to my grandma, but it was more out of obligation than anything. I would have much rather stuck my head in some sand somewhere and ignored the Hallmark commercials and such, completely forgetting that it was a day when I was supposed to be shopping for cards and gifts for a mother that, thanks to circumstances beyond my control, I can't even remember.

What I DO remember, though, is a woman who would do whatever she could for her two girls. I remember the birthday parties and the matching outfits and the time she spent with me, practicing my routines for dance recitals and talent shows. I remember her patience, teaching me how to read and how to tie my shoes. And, sadly, I remember the day she left. My father came home after spending less than a week with her in the hospital. He showed up early on a Friday morning, as my sister and I were getting ready for school. He sat us down on the bed in my sister's room and said "Do you remember how your mom was sick this summer?" Well, of course we did. "Well, it came back and God didn't want her to be sick anymore, so He took her up to Heaven to be with him". It didn't make any sense in my 10 year old mind. Mothers didn't DIE!!! Mothers watched their babies grow up. Mothers taught their daughters how to cook and how to drive. Mothers helped their daughters get ready for their first dates and mothers helped them get ready for the prom. Mothers sat in the front row and cried when their "babies" graduated...and then repeated the process when they got married. Mothers morphed into GRANDmothers. That's what they did....they did NOT die!!

Yep....I hate Mother's Day....with a passion!! The ONLY reason I plan to get up in the morning is because I AM a mother and I am blessed to have a beautiful four year old in my world to remind me that life goes on.

Thirteen Things about Rebecca Mother's Day is Sunday...it's a holiday that I didn't have to really participate in until my daughter was born in 2002, but now I do! So, here are my 13 reasons that I love being a mom! 1. I have THE most beautiful little girl in the world, bar none! I realize that this is a biased opinion, but I think she is, and my view on the subject is really the only one that counts, right? 2. There is nothing in the world that is sweeter than my little girl waking me up at the "butt-crack" of dawn saying, "I love you, Mommy, and you're my best friend in the world". 3. Little hugs--'nuff said. 4. I have an automatic shopping buddy. She was more pain than pleasure up until recently and now I can't imagine going shopping without her! 5. Holidays are MUCH more fun through the eyes of a child! I enjoy playing Santa and Easter Bunny! 6. "Why?"--It's a fun question to answer. "Why is the grass green?", "Why is the sky blue?", "Why does my hair stick up when I rub a balloon on my head?" 7. She keeps me from being lonely. I used to get depressed when I was left alone too long. Now that my daughter is here, I'm NEVER ALONE!!!! EVER!!!! 8. She knows how to "fetch". I know it's mean, but when mommy is tired, it's nice to have someone to go get the phone for me! 9. I have an excuse to go see all the "kiddie" movies. How could I play off going to see Shrek the Third when it comes out if I didn't have a kid with me??? 10. She gets excited about EVERYTHING!! It puts a smile on my face when her face lights up at the sound of the ice cream truck. 11. It's like having a "Mini-Me". She doesn't LOOK like me, really, but she acts JUST like me! We need matching outfits! :) 12. I can live vicariously through her. I may or may not have screwed up various aspects of MY life, but, through her, I can relive those moments and watch her have things that I cheated myself out of. 13. How many people can honestly say that their BEST FRIEND in the world is four years old??? I'm blessed to say that I can! :) Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Errands

I'm about to go run errands. I only have a MILLION things to do! I have to go return some shoes to Old Navy, then go to Cato and get that orange tank top I fell in love with, and I need dishwasher detergent. My friend Kelly is here, too, so we're going to make a day of running errands! All this while my husband is golfing and the plumber is fixing my bathroom sink!! Fun times!

Ten Things Most People Don't Know About Me

This was a tough Ten on Tuesday because I'm pretty much an open book and there's not just a LOT of stuff that people don't know about me...and the few things that there ARE are things I don't really WANT people to know!! LOL!! But, I decided to give it a try! Maybe there are some things on here that SOME people will know and some won't...perhaps you'll be surprised!

1. I'm an orphan---seriously. My mother died when I was 10 and my father died when I was 16. So, I was a literal "I-don't-have-anywhere-to-go" orphan! Luckily, I had grandparents and such, so I didn't have to go to foster care at 16, but it sure sucked, all the same!!

2. I used to be fat---when I was in high school people would "moo" at me when I was standing at my locker! I can't remember how tall I was, but I'd be willing to say somewhere in the neighborhood of 5'7" and weighed, easily, 185 pounds, most of which was in my butt...and wore a size 16. Kids are cruel! Which brings me to my next one......

3. I have an eating disorder---while this is not directly related to #2, because it's not a body image issue, I still look a lot better NOW than I did in 1996. This is convenient because I was a 1997 graduate, therefore, my reunion is coming up in August! My eating disorder, though, is caused by emetophobia, which is the fear of throwing up. I ate something once that made me feel sick to my stomach and ever since then (2004) I've been AFRAID to eat! Crazy, huh?

4. I'm a "germ-phobe"---and I have this "OCD" thing about washing my hands. It carries over into everything else as soon as someone who is sick comes in my house...I'm following them around with a can of Lysol in one hand and a disinfecting wipe in the other!! I do my best (usually a moot point as I have no power) to keep sick people away from me and my daughter...assuming that I know ahead of time that they're sick.

5. I was in a rock band---people who knew me in college would know this because they saw it. It was a college sponsored band and I was a singer.

6. Had I been born a boy, I would have been named Richard Carl---Richard after my mother's father and Carl after my father and my father's father. They would have called me Richie. All I can say is, thank God for my "girly part"!

7. My daughter was 2 days old before she GOT a name--she was Mariana Katherine until I was about 8 months pregnant and my grandpa offered to leave money to pay for her college if I named her after my grandma. So, we had roughly a month to come up with something that would go with Frances. So, after 2 days and many eliminated choices, she became Alyssa Frances.

8. I hoard craft supplies---and not JUST the stuff I can buy on clearance at Michael's and Hobby Lobby. I save junk that "could be used" to make something else. Stuff like baby food jars and pine cones and old CDs. I'll use them "one day".

9. I'm petrified of spiders, cockroaches, mice, rats, dogs, heights, water over my head, lightning, tornadoes, driving over bridges, driving over railroad tracks, and eating while I'm by myself (I've always been afraid I'd choke to death while no one was around).

10. I can't sleep without chapstick and a ceiling fan---I've tried...can't be done!

Five On Friday

I thought these questions were interesting:

1. Do you curse/swear or otherwise use curse/swear words?

Yes, I do. More than I should, I'm afraid.

2. Do you substitute faux curse words, like shoot or crap, for the real thing?

When I think about what I'm going to say ahead of time, I do...particularly when my 4 year old is around!

3. Which curse words and phrases do you abuse most often?

LOL! I don't know if there are any I use "most often". I don't play favorites!

4. Are you annoyed or pleased when you hear movies, songs, or shows that have been edited to cover or replace inappropriate language?

I usually don't care. What does annoy me though, is when they will edit out certain words, but then allow others that, in my opinion, are just as "bad" if not worse!

5. What are your thoughts on the use of curses and swear words in modern society? Is it more or less prevalent than in previous generations? Is it fine or causing irreprable harm to our culture? Do you think we should create (or in some cases keep) laws forbidding cursing?

I don't know if you can really place and enforce a law against it. The words being used in modern society doesn't really bother me. The only thing I wish would happen is for people to TRY to refrain from using the language around children. I'm an adult and I don't offend easily, nor do I really care what ADULT my language offends, but I don't want my child picking up foul language from a perfect stranger. Tact is the key!

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about Rebecca I was talking to a friend about my life and all the things I've done and didn't do and would like to do and won't be able to do. So, this week's 13 will be "Thirteen Things That I Would Do (Or Would Like To Have Done) If I Didn't Have A Child": 1. Finish school---I realize I can still do this WITH a child...it's just harder to pay for it now, especially if I want to put HER in good schools, and harder to find quiet time to study when there's a child constantly hollering for Mommy! 2. Move to NYC---this was my dream when I was in college. I wanted to move to NYC and be an singer/actress. I NEED to be on stage! 3. Go out and have fun---I did this before I had a kid and, if I didn't have one, I would still be enjoying my 20s before they're over! 4. Watch grown up shows---my daughter gets thoroughly pissed off when I change her cartoons to watch my soaps! 5. Have money---which I would, if I weren't constantly having to pay for birthday parties and holiday gifts and dental work and school tuition and clothes and such! 6. Sleep in---every once in a while, I'd like to sleep until noon! 7. Accompany my husband on trips to the casino---he gets to stay in the great hotels and play slots all night while I'm stuck home with the kid! 8. Choose my friends for something OTHER than how many kids they have---any time I make a new friend, nowadays, one of the factors that goes into how much time I spend with the person is how many children she has and how close they are to MY child's age! 9. Get rid of this damn cat---I hate this cat...but my daughter loves him and won't let me throw him out! 10. Have far less laundry---I am constantly doing clothes because she plays outside and gets sweaty or she drops her food in her lap or something! 11. Be called something besides "Mommy"---my own grandparents now refer to me as "Alyssa's mommy". 12. Go to the bathroom without an audience---it doesn't matter WHAT I'm doing in there, she's got to come oversee! 13. Live an empty, unfulfilling life with no reason to smile---sure, there are things I could have done and should have done, but bottom line is, I love my little girl and I wouldn't trade her for a thing!! :) Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

10 Things I Like To Do Alone

Okay, okay....I know there's only 10 more minutes left in Tuesday, but I wanted to do this week's Ten on Tuesday. So, here's a list of 10 things I like to do alone.

1. Take a bath--a thing of luxury since giving birth.
2. Sleep--my daughter kicks and my husband snores! I'm better off alone!
3. Shop--It's ONLY annoying when I can't decide between multiple things and I'd like to have an opinion. Otherwise, it's heavenly to not have to chase my child or listen to my husband complain about all the things he'd rather be doing.
4. Watch TV--when I'm alone, I can watch the channel I want and I don't have to worry about someone talking in the middle of it.
5. Drive--I can sing along with the radio and get a lot of thinking done.
6. Talk on the phone--again, only because I hate distractions and two people trying to talk to me at once.
7. Relax--it would be great to have a whole night and day by myself to veg out on the couch and watch a movie or read a book or something.
8. Work--which is why I love working at home.
9. Clean the house--That way, I don't have a child messing it up as fast as I can clean it or a husband making smartass comments about how he can't believe I'm doing it!
and FINALLY......

10. GO TO THE BATHROOM--No explanation necessary!!

It's Saturday!

Yes, it's the first day of the weekend and you ask yourself, what does Rebecca have on tap for today? Well, my friend, the answer is NOTHING!! I'd like to say I had these huge weekend plans, but that would be a lie. This time last weekend, I was enjoying a couple of child-free hours while Greg and Alyssa were gone. This weekend, not so much. I didn't wake up until 10:30 and now it's noon and I haven't even gotten a shower yet. Now, I HAVE done things. I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher. I rewashed a load of laundry I forgot about and left in the washer overnight. I made my bed and cleaned out 3 of my purses. Those are accomplishments. I do have to go, at some point today, and pick up my contacts. The ones I have are burning my eyes in a major way. I just hope they're in. They should be...it's been long enough!

Five On Friday

1. How neat are the clothes you wear? Do you iron? Fold them promptly? Pull them out of the dirty laundry?

I iron ONLY if I have to. If they're wrinkled I'll iron them, but most of the time, I manage to get them out of the dryer before they wrinkle...either that, or I'll wear them long enough before I leave the house that the wrinkles kinda "fall" out. I hate ironing!

2. How do you make your bed? Hospital corners? All over the floor? Or somewhere in between?

When I make my bed at all, I tuck the top sheet in at the bottom and along the sides...then throw blankets and the comforter on top. Relatively neat looking, but nowhere near perfection.

3. Do you leave dirty dishes in your dishwasher? In the sink? On the counters? In other rooms?

There are sometimes dishes in my sink, but I try to stay on top of that as best I can. I'm looking at 2 dirty glasses on the nightstand table beside me, but it's rare that I have any other dishes anywhere else in the house.

4. Are your floors clean enough to eat off of or is there an old science experiment growing in the corner?

Somewhere in between. I wouldn't eat off my floor at any given point, but they're not just NASTY!

5. How clean is the outside of your car? How about the inside? Is there junk in your trunk?

The outside is pretty dirty, mainly because of all the pollen floating around. The inside isn't TOO bad. It needs to be vacuumed, but it's okay. And, there's USUALLY nothing in my trunk, unless I've been to the grocery store. Right now, my husband's golf clubs are still in there from yesterday, but he'll eventually get those out.

Go AWAY!!

Rain is okay...I can handle that. What I hate are storms! I can even handle most of them, unless they produce tornadoes. I'm scared to death that, one day, I'm going to get blown away like the girl in The Wizard of Oz. If it weren't for those, I'd be okay. I like the sound of rain when I'm trying to sleep and I can sleep through most storms, but geez....who wants to have to be afraid of being whisked away in their sleep??

Parenting, At Its Finest

Okay, I admit it!! There are times when I wish that child abuse was legal and socially acceptable! Well, maybe not...but my child was really trying my patience tonight! We went grocery shopping, and she was HORRIBLE!! I mean, she whined and cried and smarted off and backtalked....you name it and, if it was bad, she did it!! Honestly, I LOVE my child, but wow! I'm not sure my sanity can take much more!!!

Happy Anniversary to ME!! (and my husband, of course!) :)

Today is mine and my husband's (who from this point on, will be called Greg...because, well, that's his name) fifth anniversary. We married on Saturday, April 13, 2002. Our wedding was a little unconventional, and admittedly, not the way I always dreamed my wedding would be, but, looking back, I wouldn't really change a thing. We had a whirlwind engagement that started with the pink line on the EPT. He finally met my grandparents for the first time a week before our scheduled nuptials. All this led up to the wedding, which was held in my grandparents living room. There were a handful of guests, which included my family, his family, his friends, and some friends of my family, that weren't exactly close friends of MINE, but at least I knew them (grandparental controlling, at its finest). One of them slipped me a $100 bill after the reception, so I can't complain! My aunt was in charge of the music, and I can't honestly tell you what they played, but I can tell you that I had NO say in it, whatsoever. I was then walked down the "aisle", which was actually the hallway from my former bedroom into the living room, by my uncle, due to the absence of my grandpa, who was in the hospital, suffering from a bleeding ulcer that I'm sure was caused by his oldest granddaughter's "shotgun wedding". Our "attendants" were his brother, Scott (who actually looked pretty hot, if I do say so myself) and my sister, who I had to BEG to come in the first place, cause she already had plans for that weekend and my wedding was very "spur of the moment". The preacher was my second choice, as my first choice also had plans for that weekend. Any normal person would have postponed the wedding and waited for grandpa to get out of the hospital and for the preacher of my choice, etc...but not me. I was 3 months pregnant and time was of the essence. However, amid all the chaos and control, there was only one moment that truly mattered, and that was the moment when Bro. Jim introduced us to the onlookers as "Mr. and Mrs. Gregory Shane Williamson". What else matters, really? Five years later, it doesn't matter that my dress was ivory and his suit was brown. It makes no difference that there weren't any flowers, aside from my bouquet. I'm sure no one remembers that my car didn't get decorated with shaving cream and who knows what else. The ONLY thing that matters is the fact that I am still "Mrs. Gregory Shane Williamson". So, no, my wedding wasn't that of fairy tales, but you know what? I am just as married to my prince as Cinderella was when the story was over!

Friday Fill-In

I was searching for a meme to keep me busy on Fridays and my "most goodest" friend, Loretta found me the Friday Fill-In. I think I'm really going to like this one...here goes.....

1. When I need inspiration I'm usually just SOL, unless I can look around my room and find something to inspire me!
2. Sleeping is my favorite way to recharge my batteries.
3. I never get sick of sitting on the computer. One would think that I would, after awhile....but I don't.
4. One of my fondest memories is being a teenager and having my daddy and all his "weird" biker friends around. There are no truer friends than bikers...remember that!!.
5. My daughter always makes me laugh.
6. I am tired,antsy and about to go shave my husband's neck!
7. This weekend, I'm looking forward to celebrating my 5th anniversary (today).

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about REBECCA I was having a hard time coming up with a "Thursday Thirteen" to do this week, so I decided to fall back on a classic: 13 Of My Favorite Things 1. My daughter. Alyssa is my life force. She drives me crazy, but I can't imagine my life without her. 2. Floam. I have only recently discovered this stuff and it's just so freakin' fun to play with! 3. Karaoke. I used to be a much better singer than I probably am now, but I like it anyway. 4. Shopping. This is particularly true when I have money to spend and can find something I want. 5. Sleeping. LOVE sleeping! 'Nuff said! 6. My soaps. Guilty pleasure of mine. My daddy called them "trash", but I can't help but be hooked. 7. Being alone. I think I really like this one because I get it so seldom! 8. Cooking. Believe it or not, if I'm in the right mood, I actually enjoy creating something out of nothing! 9. Holidays when I get to shop for my daughter. Again, only true if I have LOTS of money to spend on her...otherwise, it's just depressing! 10. Cross stitching. It's my "thinking" time. 11. Mary Kay skincare products. I actually had a man come to my house and ask if my mom was home!! This stuff is GREAT!! 12. My hair straightener. I'd look like the Bride of Frankenstein without it!! 13. Blogging. It give me an opportunity to share my thoughts with a whole new batch of victims! Enjoy!! Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Rainy Day

I can't decide if I have any appreciation for rain or not. I mean, I LOVE the sound it makes as it hits the window and the roof, but that's really only relaxing when I'm ABLE to relax. So, I think the verdict is that I like rain when I'm trying to sleep, but I don't like it during the day because it prevents me from going and doing whatever I want. I realize that I COULD still go shopping even though it's raining, but I hate driving in the rain and I hate getting wet when I get out of the car. I prefer to do all my "running around" when it's nice and dry outside. I also prefer it to be warm, which is another thing it hasn't been for the past several days. I'm ready for the rain to stop and the temperature to rise, just a little!

What A Surprise! Didn't See THAT Coming!

Your Inner Child Is Angry

You're not an angry person. But when you don't get your way, watch out. Like a very manipulative kid, you will get what you want. Even if it takes a little kicking and screaming.

How Is Your Inner Child?

Done!

Easter is finally over. I'm starting to really hate holidays. I just come up with expectations and then I'm disappointed and cranky. So my whole holiday is filled with expectation, disappointment, and crankiness! The expecting part would be fun if I EVER got what I expected, instead of a huge letdown....but, I don't, so it sucks! Hopefully this week will be okay, though. I don't know what leads me to believe that it will....maybe I'm just hoping here. My anniversary is this weekend and I'm TRYING not to expect that it will go like I've planned....but it's hard because I want it to SOOO badly!!

These Are My Obsessions

Thirteen Things about Rebecca Yesterday, I saw where my friend Loretta had been "tagged" and she listed 5 of her obsessions. I almost participated in that, then I realized that I could wait until today and take it a step further. So, this week, I'm listing 13 I obsess over. 1. Germs!! I hate germs! I hate when I'm not sick and someone who IS sick comes within a mile of me! I will follow that person around with a can of Lysol in one hand and a disinfecting wipe in the other. I realize I can't shield my daughter from every germ and virus there is, but it won't be for a lack of trying!! 2. Manners. I make sure my daughter knows to say "yes, ma'am" and "no ma'am" and "yes sir" and "no, sir", and "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me" and "I'm sorry". I can't stand rudeness. It takes so little effort to teach kids to be polite! 3. Laundry. I hate to do it, for sure, but once I get started, I want to wash EVERYTHING!!! Back when I lived alone, I would walk around naked while I washed everything, including the clothes I had on! 4. Skin care. I want to look young as long as I can, so I have to be careful about how I treat my skin. Only Mary Kay products for me! 5. Taking pictures. I want pictures of everything. My daughter will only be four years old for 365 days (and half of those are already gone). I want to capture as many of her "moments" as I can, no matter how ridiculous I look carrying a huge camera bag with me everywhere I go. 6. My soaps. I realize this is a sick obsession, but it makes me feel better to know that it could always be worse. 7. Shopping. Sometimes I want to go, even when I have no money or nothing to shop FOR. I just like going and looking. Naturally, I prefer to BUY, but anything to get out of the house sometimes. 8. My health. I probably would be classified as a hypochondriac. So far, I've "had" (not really, but I thought I did) cancer, tuberculosis, a yeast infection, a stomach virus, gallstones, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder. Luckily, as it turned out, I had none of these things (although the jury is still out on the stomach virus, cause I totally think that's what that was). 9. Clipping coupons. I buy Sunday papers just for the coupons...then regularly forget to use them. And, yet, I still continue to clip and forget! 10. Kool-aid. I can't get enough black cherry kool-aid! Periodically, I'll slip in a pitcher of tropical punch, but black cherry is my favorite! 11. Email. I check my email constantly!! So much, in fact, that people have accused me of staying on the computer 24/7. This is not true, actually. I'll be up doing other things, but every time I pass the computer, I HAVE to check to see if I got a new email!! 12. Surveys. I'm on myspace and every time someone posts a new bulletin that's one of those cheesy "what is your name?", "what did you eat for breakfast?" surveys, I feel compelled to do it...not sure why...it's a sickness! 13. Brushing my teeth. This is something that gets done AT LEAST twice a day and sometimes more often, if they're feeling a little "furry". I can not STAND for my teeth to feel nasty! And, whoever came up with the concept of "less intense Listerine" is full of crap!!!!!!! Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

It's a New Month!

It's always good to have goals. Here are some of mine for April:

--figure out what happened to the "mysterious, vanishing $200" that was supposedly declined to my daughter's dentist office that, in actuality, was taken out of my account.

--go to Harvest Assembly of God church for Easter to hear Testify sing.

--celebrate my anniversary (the 13th) with my husband in Shreveport. This is going to require finding an overnight sitter.

--get my husband a really great birthday gift on the 23rd. He'll be 36 this year....he's getting old! LOL!

I'm sure I'll come up with more as the month progresses.

Supper Time!

I am SO lucky! My daughter is the least picky eater of all the children I know! About the only things I've ever seen her turn down are bananas (and she's even warming up to those now), jello, and onions (she calls them "omyums", which is adorable). Other than that, she eats anything!! She LOVES vegetables, including celery, which I can't say for myself, cause that is some NASTY stuff! She eats whatever I cook and is darn glad to have it! Just the kind of child I can love and appreciate!

I, on the other hand, don't eat anything. This is a mental disorder that I have. I'm afraid to get sick, therefore I don't eat....at all. This disease only hurts after the 3rd year! I haven't had a real "meal" since 2004. Most people would say this is odd...and it is, but it's become a way of life for me! I'm just hoping that one day I can get back to "normal", cause I REALLY want a chicken quesadilla!!

Days Like Today.....

...should be strictly prohibited!! This day has just been crappy from the get-go! I seriously wish I would have stayed in bed....or gone out of town...yeah, out of town would have been better! I have a terrible headache, I'm tired, I'm irritable, I'm concerned about my daughter's future illness she will receive, I'm cranky....I just want to crawl under a rock!!

Hopefully tomorrow will be better....I'd say it can't get any worse, but that would just jinx me.