ss_blog_claim=cd46ef178142ba5c793d6628c487d5ef The Stuff I Think: May 2007

Monday, May 28, 2007

Holiday Weekend

I actually sorta forgot this WAS a holiday weekend, to be honest. Memorial Day isn't a holiday that I get into, really. By the time Memorial Day comes around, the kids around here are already out of school (unfortunately), and almost all the stores are open, so it just seems like another day to me. We did, however, have an "event" or two in our household this weekend. For starters, I got my karaoke machine I've been wanting FOREVER (did I mention that already?). Then, today, we went truck shopping for Greg. We wound up in Ruston and he found a 2006 Dodge Ram 1500 that he liked, so we are a two vehicle family once again! YAY!! I really like his truck, though, and I hope that one day I can get another vehicle. I really want an SUV, even though I know that the gas mileage on most of them sucks. The Escape gets 26 hwy miles per gallon, which isn't too bad for an SUV. At any rate, I'd love to be able to get something new one day.

Now, if I can just get through the rest of this week, next week will be AWESOME!! Alyssa goes to Bible School from 8-12 everyday next week, so I'll have four, count 'em, FOUR glorious child-free hours every day next week!! Exciting!! I just hope nothing spoils it this year. Last year, I looked forward to it for weeks and I wound up getting sick that week with the most horrible cold I'd ever had! So, I couldn't even enjoy my child-free hours because I was too sick. I'm crossing my fingers that this year is better!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Bless Her Heart

I love my daughter with all my heart, but she is getting on my nerves SOOOO bad today!! Every time I turn around, she's right there, wanting to "help" with whatever I'm doing. Unfortunately, her "helping" translates into "standing in Mommy's way so she can't get past me to actually DO what it is that she's trying to do". And, she has NOT shut up! She just jibbers...constantly! I know it's just ME...I'm just having one of my short fuse days, poor thing. But, I will be so glad when it's her bedtime!!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Ten Sad Songs

Today's Ten on Tuesday is "Ten Songs That Make You Sad". So, here are mine:

1. Tears in Heaven--Eric Clapton. This is such a sad song on SO many levels. And, the fact that it was written about his own little boy that he lost so young makes it all the more depressing.

2. Turn the Page--Bob Segar. This ordinarily wouldn't be a sad song, but it was my dad's favorite song and a friend of his played the guitar and sang it at my daddy's funeral back in 1995. So, it reminds me of my dad.

3. Knockin' On Heaven's Door--Guns N Roses. I realize this is a cover of an Eric Clapton song, but I honestly prefer the GNR version. It's another one that was played in memory of my dad, so it's sad to me.

4. Butterfly Kisses--Bob Carlisle. I cry everytime I hear this one. I can't believe how quickly my baby girl is growing up!!!

5. Streets of Heaven--Sherrie Austin. This one came out as my grandma was diagnosed with cancer and I had a baby daughter (who actually WAS still a baby!). I just couldn't imagine losing my grandma (which I didn't, for the record) and it was even more sad to think of something like that happening to my little girl.

6. Alyssa Lies--Jason Michael Carroll. I think this song would be sad, regardless, but when you actually HAVE a daughter named Alyssa, it makes it even more difficult to listen to the line that says "Alyssa lies with Jesus because there's nothing anyone would do". Not that I have to worry about MY Alyssa being a fatality of child abuse, but it's sad to think that SOMEONE'S Alyssa might be!

7. Please Remember Me--Tim McGraw. I heard this song in 1998, shortly after a person I was very close to was taken to the hospital after a ruptured brain aneurysm and they didn't expect him to make it through the night. For the record, he DID make it through that night and will be celebrating his 30th birthday this Sunday.

8. Baby Mine--Dumbo Soundtrack. Okay, don't laugh! That part of the movie was always sad to me, but then, it became "our song" when I brought my daughter home from the hospital and would sing it to her when she was just mere days old. So, it's kinda sad and bittersweet to me now that she's four. When I hear it or sing it to her, I think about the little bitty bundle of human I was singing it to back in October, 2002.

9. Amazing Grace. Yes, the hymn. My mother sang this song a capella a few months before she passed away. The music minister then insisted that it be on the hymn list for her memorial service after her death. It was the first time I ever saw my daddy cry.

10. Untitled--Simple Plan. My best friend swears up and down that this is about a person who is dying after a car accident, but after listening to the words, I'm convinced that it's a drug overdose he's dying of. Either way, it's a sad song because we've ALL made mistakes that we'll probably regret as we're dying (if we don't already).

So, there you have it!! See ya next week! :)

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is a very bittersweet holiday for me. On the one hand, I have my beautiful daughter to celebrate with. There's nothing better than knowing that there's a person in the world who loves you in spite of your faults. It had been a LONG time since I experienced unconditional love and now I have it!

But, on the other hand, it's a sad reminder that my own mother has been missing from my life (in the flesh, anyway) for 17 Mother's Days. Most everyone who knows me, at all, knows that my mother passed away on January 5, 1990, at the age of 32. I was only 10 years old at the time, so, unfortunately, I wasn't left with many vivid memories of her. It's very hard to fathom that I've spent over half my life without her. It's unfair...I've said it before and I'll say it for the rest of my natural's totally unfair!!

I try not to be bitter about the holiday, for the sake of my daughter. I had no reason to celebrate before her. Granted, I always sent (and still send, actually) a card to my grandma, but it was more out of obligation than anything. I would have much rather stuck my head in some sand somewhere and ignored the Hallmark commercials and such, completely forgetting that it was a day when I was supposed to be shopping for cards and gifts for a mother that, thanks to circumstances beyond my control, I can't even remember.

What I DO remember, though, is a woman who would do whatever she could for her two girls. I remember the birthday parties and the matching outfits and the time she spent with me, practicing my routines for dance recitals and talent shows. I remember her patience, teaching me how to read and how to tie my shoes. And, sadly, I remember the day she left. My father came home after spending less than a week with her in the hospital. He showed up early on a Friday morning, as my sister and I were getting ready for school. He sat us down on the bed in my sister's room and said "Do you remember how your mom was sick this summer?" Well, of course we did. "Well, it came back and God didn't want her to be sick anymore, so He took her up to Heaven to be with him". It didn't make any sense in my 10 year old mind. Mothers didn't DIE!!! Mothers watched their babies grow up. Mothers taught their daughters how to cook and how to drive. Mothers helped their daughters get ready for their first dates and mothers helped them get ready for the prom. Mothers sat in the front row and cried when their "babies" graduated...and then repeated the process when they got married. Mothers morphed into GRANDmothers. That's what they did....they did NOT die!!

Yep....I hate Mother's Day....with a passion!! The ONLY reason I plan to get up in the morning is because I AM a mother and I am blessed to have a beautiful four year old in my world to remind me that life goes on.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Thirteen Things about Rebecca

Mother's Day is's a holiday that I didn't have to really participate in until my daughter was born in 2002, but now I do! So, here are my 13 reasons that I love being a mom!

1. I have THE most beautiful little girl in the world, bar none! I realize that this is a biased opinion, but I think she is, and my view on the subject is really the only one that counts, right?

2. There is nothing in the world that is sweeter than my little girl waking me up at the "butt-crack" of dawn saying, "I love you, Mommy, and you're my best friend in the world".

3. Little hugs--'nuff said.

4. I have an automatic shopping buddy. She was more pain than pleasure up until recently and now I can't imagine going shopping without her!

5. Holidays are MUCH more fun through the eyes of a child! I enjoy playing Santa and Easter Bunny!

6. "Why?"--It's a fun question to answer. "Why is the grass green?", "Why is the sky blue?", "Why does my hair stick up when I rub a balloon on my head?"

7. She keeps me from being lonely. I used to get depressed when I was left alone too long. Now that my daughter is here, I'm NEVER ALONE!!!! EVER!!!!

8. She knows how to "fetch". I know it's mean, but when mommy is tired, it's nice to have someone to go get the phone for me!

9. I have an excuse to go see all the "kiddie" movies. How could I play off going to see Shrek the Third when it comes out if I didn't have a kid with me???

10. She gets excited about EVERYTHING!! It puts a smile on my face when her face lights up at the sound of the ice cream truck.

11. It's like having a "Mini-Me". She doesn't LOOK like me, really, but she acts JUST like me! We need matching outfits! :)

12. I can live vicariously through her. I may or may not have screwed up various aspects of MY life, but, through her, I can relive those moments and watch her have things that I cheated myself out of.

13. How many people can honestly say that their BEST FRIEND in the world is four years old??? I'm blessed to say that I can! :)

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I'm about to go run errands. I only have a MILLION things to do! I have to go return some shoes to Old Navy, then go to Cato and get that orange tank top I fell in love with, and I need dishwasher detergent. My friend Kelly is here, too, so we're going to make a day of running errands! All this while my husband is golfing and the plumber is fixing my bathroom sink!! Fun times!

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Coming Soon to a Movie Theater Near You....

Ashley Judd has a new bug movie coming out. Ironically enough, it's called Bug. According to the trailer, it's made by the same people who brought us The Exorcist, so it's bound to be scary! I'm not much for scary movies, but I promised my husband I would try some. As long as he's aware that he's going to have to walk me to and from the bathroom at night, we'll be alright! If you're interested and want to check out the trailer, it's really great! The movie is based on a play by Tracy Letts and is about a waitress who, while running from her violent, recently released ex-convict ex-husband, meets another man who has an odd insect infestation. I've seen plenty of Ashley Judd movies and she's a wonderful actress and Harry Connick, Jr. is really easy on the eyes, so I'm sure this bug movie won't disappoint.

Here are a couple of posters for the movie:

I'm really liking these posters. They make it look like the movie is going to be dark and mysterious as well as a little creepy! Fun times!! Check out the trailer, then go watch the movie, scheduled for release later this month!

Ten Things Most People Don't Know About Me

This was a tough Ten on Tuesday because I'm pretty much an open book and there's not just a LOT of stuff that people don't know about me...and the few things that there ARE are things I don't really WANT people to know!! LOL!! But, I decided to give it a try! Maybe there are some things on here that SOME people will know and some won't...perhaps you'll be surprised!

1. I'm an orphan---seriously. My mother died when I was 10 and my father died when I was 16. So, I was a literal "I-don't-have-anywhere-to-go" orphan! Luckily, I had grandparents and such, so I didn't have to go to foster care at 16, but it sure sucked, all the same!!

2. I used to be fat---when I was in high school people would "moo" at me when I was standing at my locker! I can't remember how tall I was, but I'd be willing to say somewhere in the neighborhood of 5'7" and weighed, easily, 185 pounds, most of which was in my butt...and wore a size 16. Kids are cruel! Which brings me to my next one......

3. I have an eating disorder---while this is not directly related to #2, because it's not a body image issue, I still look a lot better NOW than I did in 1996. This is convenient because I was a 1997 graduate, therefore, my reunion is coming up in August! My eating disorder, though, is caused by emetophobia, which is the fear of throwing up. I ate something once that made me feel sick to my stomach and ever since then (2004) I've been AFRAID to eat! Crazy, huh?

4. I'm a "germ-phobe"---and I have this "OCD" thing about washing my hands. It carries over into everything else as soon as someone who is sick comes in my house...I'm following them around with a can of Lysol in one hand and a disinfecting wipe in the other!! I do my best (usually a moot point as I have no power) to keep sick people away from me and my daughter...assuming that I know ahead of time that they're sick.

5. I was in a rock band---people who knew me in college would know this because they saw it. It was a college sponsored band and I was a singer.

6. Had I been born a boy, I would have been named Richard Carl---Richard after my mother's father and Carl after my father and my father's father. They would have called me Richie. All I can say is, thank God for my "girly part"!

7. My daughter was 2 days old before she GOT a name--she was Mariana Katherine until I was about 8 months pregnant and my grandpa offered to leave money to pay for her college if I named her after my grandma. So, we had roughly a month to come up with something that would go with Frances. So, after 2 days and many eliminated choices, she became Alyssa Frances.

8. I hoard craft supplies---and not JUST the stuff I can buy on clearance at Michael's and Hobby Lobby. I save junk that "could be used" to make something else. Stuff like baby food jars and pine cones and old CDs. I'll use them "one day".

9. I'm petrified of spiders, cockroaches, mice, rats, dogs, heights, water over my head, lightning, tornadoes, driving over bridges, driving over railroad tracks, and eating while I'm by myself (I've always been afraid I'd choke to death while no one was around).

10. I can't sleep without chapstick and a ceiling fan---I've tried...can't be done!