Questioning It All

If there is a God in Heaven, He is sure as hell bound and determined to stay hidden from me.  I've gone through my entire life, all the loves and losses that define who I am, thinking all the while that it was part of some "master plan"...that I was somehow destined for wonderful things.  Now, at age 33, I am no closer to counting for anything than I was when I was 10....possibly less now, actually, because at least when I was 10 I had potential.  Meanwhile, I've prayed and prayed and prayed for God to make my life okay....not perfect....just okay...like everybody else's...and I can't even get that.  So either God is some huge joke someone made up to prove that humans are gullible, or He does exist and just doesn't give a damn about me...I'm honestly not sure which truth I prefer...