My Soapbox

First of all, I would like to thank my true friends who stuck by me and didn't treat me as if my misfortune was a form of leprosy or like I'd been horribly disfigured in a freak "financial accident". I lost too many friends to count during the past year. A few tried to be supportive at the beginning, but I suppose the lost compassion. Or maybe they lost faith. I know I did. Either way, I found out quickly thta many of my friendships had "conditions". Like, as long as I had a nice car, a decent house, a well dressed child with more toys than any child truly needs, and my husband brought in a certain amount of disposable monthly income, I was considered "worthy" of their friendship. Well, screw that!!!

"Class" is not determined by the cars we drive or the clothes we wear. There are more important things than social status. Being "classy", in my opinion, isn't a matter of having everything we want in life, but how we react to the things life gives us that we DON'T necessarily want. It's also measured by our reactions to others' adversities. "Classy" isn't sitting idly by and "blessing someone's heart" when they have trouble. It's stepping in and doing whatever you can to help without feeling like you "halo" entitles you to something. Sometimes we don't get back what we give--that's life. We might not even get our reward here on Earth, in this life. But, rest assured, if your heart is in the right place, you'll get it!

So many just don't care. Or they worry about what their "hospitality" will cost THEM. They drop subtle hints about how put-out they are and how eternally grateful you should be. They don't realize that "charity" stops being "charitable" when you're constantly complaining about having to do it. I can't speak for all, but when someone calls himself "helping" me, but he's really just making me feel like less of a person for needing help in the first place, I'd rather he just leave me be. Heaven forbid you not get to buy your son yet another remote-controlled car because you gave a friend ten dollars to help her feed her kids. Or, imagine the travesty of doing without a beer or a pack of cigarettes in th ename of helping a down-on-his-luck co-worker get a prescription he needs. And, by all means, what will the neighbors say if you let a friend with nowhere to go spend a few days at your house?!?! Wouldn't want them to think you associate with poor people, would you??

I am tearfully proud that I am raising a daughter who would decide against buying a toy for herself, opting instead to donate her allowance (or her tooth fairy money) to help less fortunate children and their parents get a hot meal or a winter coat. I know this to be true because she's done it! In spite of all that has happened, my daughter has clothes on her back, she's well fed, has plenty of toys, and is an excellent student. She's not annoying spoiled to the point that someone couldn't give her a piece of candy without her turning her nose up because it wasn't a toy. She understands the value of caring and giving and being a TRUE friend better than the majority of adults I've met. She never asks for more than I have to give and I never feel like I have to "prove" myself to her. I may not always be able to provide her with the best in material possessions, and, for the sake of her selfishness, I wouldn't want to! But, she always appreciates what she has and that means I'm doing a pretty good job!!